I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
