Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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