I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
