The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
