I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
