This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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