I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
