apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
