I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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