Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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