You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
