he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
