He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
