Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
