I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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