new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
