i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize