I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
