i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize