Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
