Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize