one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
