She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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