You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
