My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
you had me at cake vodka
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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