i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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