White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
