He uses pillows to masturbate.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
