when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize