Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
