He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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