You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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