I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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