She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
