I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize