you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize