I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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