Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
