we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
i drank out of a bidet.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
