Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Randomize
