What a fucking waste of an outfit
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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