I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
