i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You were trust falling into bushes
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
