my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
