So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
