if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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