I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
