dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
