This dress was meant to end up on your floor
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
