vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
