i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
