covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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