is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
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