Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
