Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
