Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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