just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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